Just Be Held

I am not afraid, I was born into this life for purposes far beyond my understanding, but I hope to learn those reasons as I live and grow and thrive. The current events of my life have come suddenly, in this massive tornado of events and emotions and change, and I've learned through all of it that I handle emotions extremely poorly. Change is something I tend to run from and I do my best to suppress any emotion associated with it - that being said, I recently started this crazy awesome new job that will mostly turn into my career and I moved out on my own for real for the very first time in my life - two of the biggest changes that anyone ever experiences. I've reached the point where I feel like I have mountains of expectations from all of the people in my life, and I literally cannot keep up with anything any more. However, it's been made very clear that these expectations are very much contained within my mind, and I am surrounded by incredible people who would give so much to support me and remind me that I have no reason to be alone. There is one song that truly mirrors my life right now, "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns. I put in their CD while I showered after my run earlier, and I have listened to it on repeat for the last hour now. "And when you're tired of fighting and chained by your control, there's freedom in surrender. Lay it down and let it go" - control is something I struggle with greatly, and lately I've made moves that have left me feeling vulnerable and exposed. "So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away, you're not alone, stop holding on and just be held. Your worlds not falling apart, it's falling into place. I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held" - this is the chorus of the song but for me it's something else entirely. When I close my eyes and hear the words, I hear God's sweet voice speaking directly to me, telling me to calm my heart, let Him take my anxiety and let Him hold me. Through trials and blessings, I'm reminded that I made a choice to put my hope in a God that walks with me through it ALL. He is the one who hold my heart. He is the one who provides rest and He promises to never let go.